The Missing Commandment: THOU SHALT NOT BREED TEACUP PUPPIES
An Open Letter to Ms. Lisa Vanderpump and all the Four Monkeys of the Wonderland Elite
“Life in Beverly Hills is a game, and I make the rules.”
“They are always top Pick of the Litter puppies that we select just for you.All puppies come with 1 year health guarantee.”
-Ms. Puppy Connection
Dear Mrs. Vanderpump,
I am writing to you on behalf of “The Invisible Puppy Mill Co.” It has recently come to our attention that you were to receive a Tiny Ice White Female Pomerian puppy from an obscure company called Boutique Teacup Puppies. Let me begin by expressing our devastation on the face of such news. Our admiration for you and the likes of you urged us to interfere at this point and introduce you to one of our Invisible Ice Pomerians. Our invisible puppies are produced in North Pacific Ocean on the Marshall Islands for a change. How refreshing, isn’t it? Far from those Korean breeders who fail to create perfection time and time again and get stuck on the teacup size. But after many arduous trials, after having to drown many tiny but still visible puppies in the drain, we are proud to inform you that we finally reached perfection. Our puppies are invisible to the naked and the dressed eye! Can you imagine Mrs. Vanderpump, our puppies simply do not exist but still come with the breeding rights, of course for no extra cost to you.
Here is one of our highest quality, gorgeous female Pomerians on a walk with her new family.
As long as humanitarian members of high society like you exist Ms. Vanderpump, who accept teacup or invisible puppies from greedy lowlives like ourselves, the kill shelters in the United States will be able to kill perfectly healthy adoptable puppies with a clear conscience. In our mission statement it is clearly asserted: “We have set up this business to ensure that the community comes to understand that all mixbreeds and puppies who pee on the carpet and consequently are dumped in kill shelters deserve nothing more than the sweet smell of Halothan and Carbondioxide.” This society has gone through enough guilt tripping Ms. Vanderpump. We shall breed on a mass scale, you shall be given one of those invisible puppies and set a perfect example for the society showing them the true colors of people who adopt from shelters rather than shop. What softies! But the current state of the world does not have such luxury for compassion as you very well know. Keep the humanitarian business on an extracurricular level.
Have you heard of Royal Teacup Puppies Mrs. Vanderpump?
Please accept our gift of invisible puppy, who unfortunately does not exist but still comes with a 2 year health guarantee just like the Pomerian from Ms. Puppy Connection (they seem to be confused about whether it is 1 or 2 years). This is as long as a washing machine, and frankly, who needs a healthy puppy after 2 years anyway? The only downside of our deal is, our puppies unlike Ms. Puppy’s do not come “Top Pick of the Litter.” We cannot quite see which one we are picking as they are all invisible. And we also work with an obscure Dr. Choi of our own, and to top their deal, our Dr. Choi does not exist, either! In two years time, when the guarantee of your invisible puppy is up, we surely will come up with something more evil. We will clone an invisible version of yourself, so you don’t have to appear in The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills anymore. Instead of “philantropic” we can produce a “zoophiliac” version of yourself and move you to our mill in Marshall Islands. The possibilities are infinite Mrs. Vanderpump. Imagine yourself crossbreeding with invisible puppies! Who would ever adopt a single dog from a shelter after that?
Let’s all pretend Ms. Vanderpump, let’s all pretend to be philantropic and cause more deaths. Pump up the evil!
“Our puppies are covered for 2 years for congenital/genetic defects which render the general health of the puppy are covered up the landed cost of the puppy or pursuit to the Hereditary Conditional Clause of this Guaranty for two (2) years. You will find the conditional clause listed below.
Our warranty covers the conditions below with up to a maximum cost benefit.
Luxating Patella maximum up to$1000
Stenotic Snares maximum up to $500
Hernia Repair maximum up to $150
Entropian/Cherry Eye maximum up to $150 per eye
Localized Demodetic Mange covered only upon Initial Examination maximum benefit is $150
(Monorchid/Cryptorchid) Undescended Testes maximum benefit up to $150”
-from Ms. Puppy Connection
What do we do about the Vanderpumps, Mimis, Ms. Puppys of the world?
We ask them! We ask them until we get a satisfactory answer!
Update December 12. Conversation with Justin Anderson, Ms. Puppy Connection, broker of ill and premature puppies of South Korean breeders.
Read this… this is the kind of scum selling you teacup puppies. Ready? go…
Justin AndersonI don’t mind. I will answer every question and accusation no matter how ludicrous it might be. I am here to get low down and dirty with these people so Ashley doesn’t have to stoop to their level. I will not only defend but attack on a personal level if need be.
Viktor Larkhill Hi Justin, Viktor Larkhill, Founder, Let’s Adopt! Global… I don’t know if you have read my blog, but no personal attacks have been made. In any case, I would like to take you up your word and ask a few questions.. are you sure you want to do this?
Viktor Larkhill As you may have realized we started our campaign focusing on your “competitor”, Royal Teacup, but obviously the issues apply equally to you. Sadly, they were not able to answer, probably due to a language bareer. So, just a few questions:
1. Who is that Dr. Choi in South Korea that seems to be producing those poor dogs for you? Do you realize that the way he his achieving those sizes is by late fertilization of the egg on the female bitch period, and that, de facto, those pups are just premature puppies of very small breeds? What they do then is to keep some of those and continue the process.. the unfortunate result is, most of the time, animals that are not viable.. but please.. tel me more about Dr. Choi.
4 hours ago ·
Viktor LarkhillAbsolutely… you will be able to.. having said that, you offered to answer any questions we may ask you first. In any case, sure.. quid pro quo…
Justin AndersonDr. Choi is a veterinarian in South Korea for whom we sell dogs. My question is, since you don’t know him, how do you know how he achieves these sizes? Please read the extensive post from earlier on why these dogs are smaller than the standard.
3. What are the conditions of the breeding facilities? Can we see any visual proof as to the well-being of the mothers who are bred?4. How many litters do the mothers have in their lifetime?5. What happens to the teacups who are not the “Top Pick of the Litter”?6. Can I have a list of veterinarians whom you consult with to make sure the puppies do not carry any genetic diseases and will not experience terrible pain because of arrested development?Notice none of the questions are about you, your wife or what you do in your spare time. I couldn’t care less.. As you can see I’m more concerned about the health of the puppies and the conditions of their parents, I don’t care about AKC standards, my concern is the viability of the animals in the medium and long run.
Justin AndersonWait. Your asking me how the breeding takes place? Most people learn about this at a very young age… But I guess I can try to explain it without offending anyone’s delicate sensibilities. First the male dog gets on top of the female dog. They…copulate. Then around 63 days later…puppies are born!!
Viktor LarkhillYes, we have airplanes where I’m from. But seriously… I thought I was going to have a proper conversation with someone. I suggest you go home, take a shower, relax, and whenever you feel like having a proper talk get in touch with me. With that kind of answers you are not doing a favor to your business, wife, company, whatever you want to call it.
Viktor LarkhillThanks Justin… I heard in South Korea bitches go on top. Anyway.. no man… in a normal pregnancy yes.. it would be around 63 days.. the pregnancies of your dogs are about 1 week shorter, bordering on the non-viable.. pls answer the rest of your questions. And believe me, if you want to reduce this to a competition to see who has the biggest dick or who is the biggest jerk please don’t make me waste my time.
Stupid questions? What is stupid about asking for the breeding conditions and about the number of litters a mother can have. What is stupid about asking what happens to the pups that fall short of viable? Do you really feel those questions…See More
Dorothy Furney WatkinsViktor, I can’t help but step in here. How is it you KNOW these babies are born a week early? Are you present at the time of impregnating and birth to monitor the actual length of pregnancy? And if you ARE present, then you already have all the answers. If you are not present, then keep your opinions to yourself!!!!
Justin Anderson#6 when anyone and i mean anyone can say that a dog or a human for that matter is 100% guarenteed not to have a genetic defect…well that will be a joyous day indeed!
4 hours ago ·
Justin AndersonIf your only care is truly for the puppies, then rest assured. Our puppies receive the best care they possibly can. My suggestion is to make sure your pets are taken care of and to stay out of other peoples business. I mean really. What right do you have to question me?
3 hours ago ·
Viktor LarkhillJustin.. you gave me that right. You offered to answer my questions.. remember?
Justin AndersonI guess I did offer to answer your questions but you haven’t answered all of mine.
3 hours ago ·
Justin AndersonYou don’t understand that it already IS personal. By attacking our business for no real reason other than the fact that you don’t like it seems like an attack on us personally. This business is who we are and what we love and to have someone to imply that it wrong in some way just irks me.
3 hours ago ·
Viktor LarkhillJustin… true… as I said, you are small fry… but no… this is not going to go away. I may not be directly involved in dealing with this campaign but I assure you I will be watching and behind everything. Get ready for a very very bumpy ride. Thanks …
Justin AndersonOf course some of these are valid questions. And we will gladly answer them to any of our prospective customers. But obviously Viktor will not be purchasing a puppy from us anyway so what’s it hurt to jab at him a little since as you can see by the questions and answers he’s supplying that he is merely trying to cause a stir.
Justin AndersonIlim, Viktor hasn’t actually stated anything. He’s only asked some common questions that every buyer should ask when purchasing a puppy. The only reason he is even posting here is to get a response and to add his assumptions in for good measure.
3 hours ago ·
Justin AndersonI’m probably talking to myself now but oh well. Thats what im here for. To go back and forth with these people until they get tired of it and go away.
” I don’t mind. I will answer every question and accusation no matter how ludicrous it might be. I am here to get low down and dirty with these people so Ashley doesn’t have to stoop to their level. I will not only defend but attack on a p…See More
Justin AndersonI don’t know how many times I have to say it! Our puppies come from South Korea! Here is the deal Gary, if a prospective customer asks for these things we will be happy to provide them. No one is hiding here. I have answered every question asked exactly the way I said I would. What business are you in Gary?
3 hours ago ·
Justin AndersonWhy do these people feel they can question with impunity and not be rebuffed or questioned themselves?
It’s obvious your a shepherd lover Gary. Do you have pictures of where your dogs were bred? Do you have proof of the well being of the dam? How many litters did the dam have? What happened to the other puppies from their litters?
Justin Yes! to your questions.. I know the vet’s contact info that saw the pup I got 3 times before point of purchase. Yes the dog was baer, cerf, echo tested and penn hip. On my other dog, again yes.. patella check and trachea collapses X-…See More
Justin AndersonFeel free to post all of the above. And KC’s don’t judge on health or temperament but solely on conformation. Have you ever heard anyone at a dog show say to a judge “but he’s the sweetest dam pit you’ll ever find”?
Justin AndersonThese two previous posters are perfect example of the different groups we deal with. Alexandra is obviously a domestic breeder that is threatened by our business and Maura is a left leaning animal activist that thinks no one should buy dogs… What a pair…
about an hour ago ·
Justin AndersonMaybe you two should get together over a cocktail and hash out someway to combine your hate…
about an hour ago ·
Justin AndersonThat sounds great Jessyca, how many adopted pets do you have?
http://www.complaintsboard.com/complaints/ms-puppy-connection-vaiden-madison-pelehatchie-mississippi-c469446.htmlI tell you Justin… I have no idea what you intended by taking over the PR of the company, but let me tell you, you are going to run the whole thing through the ground. Sarcasm is seldom the answer when you are a tiny mum and pup business trying to scrap a living by selling premature born puppies from South Korea to uneducated people that wouldn’t know where to put the country in a map. Sarcasm is good when you run a comedy program and people appreciate the tone, or when you apply it intelligently. But what you are doing is so boring and lame that it really defeats its own purpose.
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